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most everyone knows my mother's amazing story of hope. time goes by and sometimes i forget how blessed and fortunate i am to still have her in my life. if you know her, you know she is a solid rock. sometimes i wonder if she has always been this strong or if having cancer made her stronger.
she continues to have regularly scheduled blood work done to check levels, and we always get a bit anxious awaiting test results. last week she had her annual colonoscopy, and the results came back clear. shew! mother received test results just prior to the colonoscopy that raised a red flag which caused mom and dad to have higher than normal anxiety levels. in typical mom fashion, danner, david and i were not told this until after the colonoscopy came back clear (you'll see she has always shielded her children, and now as a mother i understand her intent more than i ever thought i would).
if you don't know mother's story in full, here it is told in her words in the yet to be published book "six months to life". you will no longer ask why she lives everyday to the fullest.
LYNDA BETHEL'S STORY
In late October, 1997, I went to the Joe Arrington Cancer Center in Lubbock, Texas, for a routine check up with my oncologist (an oncologist saw me yearly due, to my having been diagnosed with a Stage T2-N1-M0, carcinoma of the right breast, five years prior to this date). My blood work showed that I was somewhat anemic, and I was sent to see my gynecologist. Pelvic masses were found after the physical examination (these masses were not present 11 months prior to this time when an ultrasound and endometrial biopsy were performed for vaginal bleeding.) I was then sent for x-ray confirmation, which showed bilateral adnexal masses and ascites present, as well as, liver defects present. Then, I was sent for a CT scan, an upper gastrointestinal series of tests, a small bowel series of tests, as well as, a barium enema and x-rays, which revealed a narrowing of the sigmoid colon. My CA-125 blood count was 3,001, and the CA-27-29 was 239.7.
When my husband and I met with an oncologist (my oncologist was out of town) to go over my tests; the results sounded so bleak, he gave me no hope or encouragement. It was like receiving a death sentence. He explained that all the dark shadows on the x-rays were probably cancer and that the CA-125 indicated full blown ovarian cancer, since normal was from 0-34. I made the comment that the only way out of this was to ask for a miracle. Immediately in my heart and mind, I did just that, I didn't wait—I didn't figure I had time to wait and ask later. We were both shocked and horrified with this news, and I felt deeply sad. The hardest part was sharing this news with my children, whom I told I was asking for a miracle. Also, it was difficult retiring from my 21 year teaching career. I had taught with breast cancer, but I knew I needed all my energy to fight this illness. After this visit, my oncologist of five years returned, and he was very beneficial in helping me fight this cancer.
I was admitted to the hospital with a presumptive diagnosis of intra-abdominal malignancy. At the time of my abdominal aspiration, I was noted to have widespread dissemination of ovarian carcinoma throughout my abdomen. The entire peritoneal lining of my abdomen was studded with and seeded with metastatic lesions, with liver defects. The entire mesentery and omentum were covered with tumor.
On December 2, 1997, the surgeon performed a diverting colostomy and mucous fistula to relieve potential obstruction occurring in the sigmoid colon. The right adnexa was removed along with several other areas for biopsy and tissue diagnosis purposes. The final diagnosis read, "Widespread intra-abdominal invasive carcinoma of the ovary—poorly differentiated". They found extensive peritoneal carcinomatosis from the undersurface of the diaphragm to the pelvis and the abdomen was involved from side to side.
After my operation, the doctors told my family that I had a stage 4 grade 3 highly aggressive ovarian cancer. They mentioned that sometimes aggressive cancers respond well to medicine, but that I might have only 2 to 6 months to live. I was extremely weak after this operation, and after I regained my strength, I would begin my treatment. My treatment (which they asked me if I wanted to consider treatment) consisted of cisplatin and taxol, which was an all day drip. I had 8 treatments.
I don't think of myself as a "Real Religious Person;" however, trusting and focusing on my faith is what saw me through this nightmare. I mentally began to work hard to live, because I could actually feel death. The feeling I had after my diagnosis was that my weak body could never be strong again and that I should close the blinds, turn out the lights, stay in bed, and cover up. Since I got no encouragement from my doctors, and on paper it sounded like it was over for me, I could have given up all hope. I felt darkness completely surrounded me, except for a speck of light. My will to live was strong; because I very much wanted to live to see who my children would marry, attend weddings, play with grandchildren, and travel with my husband and girlfriends; I did not give up hope. I chose to live; I got out of bed and developed a new simple life style. I slowly developed this light to glow and grow bigger and brighter by relying on my relationship with Jesus Christ. My attitude remained positive. I used prayer, meditation, exercise and diet, and visualization.
I prayed constantly, but not often formally. One day my husband entered our bedroom and I was kneeling at my chair ottoman, when he asked what I was doing, I replied, "Praying for my life." My husband prayed silently morning and night for me. My children prayed, our church and community prayed, our relatives prayed, my three doctors prayed, and my girlfriends prayed, plus people I didn't even know prayed for me. I was and still am deeply appreciative of these prayers, because they were my best medicine. I asked often in prayer for a miracle. I believed in my heart, as well as my mind, in miracles. My oncologist told me in order to get a miracle you had to expect a miracle, and I did. I had asked for a miracle for my Mother when she had lung cancer but God did not grant her one—it was God's plan for her to die, and I was at peace with her death. However, I believed it could happen for me, and I knew it was possible for Jesus to heal me, if he chose. I would read the Psalms, "God Calling," by A.J. Russell, "Daily Healing Bread," by Nancy Dufresne and "Healed of Cancer," by Dodie Osteen. These readings served as my meditation. I experienced stillness and quietness, when I read. I listened to my heart, when I was alone, which was a good deal of the time, and I felt that Christ spoke to me through my heart, letting me know that I was on task with this battle.
Being a very independent person, I often drove myself to Lubbock to treatment, and I would listen to religious music, old hymns, or, I silently focused on a miracle. I walked in the neighborhood for exercise, always alone. I was very close to nature at this time—very appreciative and thankful for the very simple things in life. I praised God for all the goodness in the world, and I asked for forgiveness in all areas of my life. The Oklahoma City bombing took place during my illness, and I can remember feeling so lucky compared to the people involved in that incident. I tried to eat healthy and there were periods that I juiced carrots and other vegetables. However, I did not deprive myself of foods that sometimes I wanted.
I visualized the Bible story of David and Goliath over and over again, until I felt I knew exactly how David felt when he went out that day to face Goliath. I visualized in the morning or afternoon in my bed very relaxed, my blinds open, with complete stillness. I felt like I was David, imperfect and the odds against me. When David went out that day to face Goliath with his sling shot, he put his complete trust in God, which was his source of strength and courage that lead him to victory. He was totally focused on God; he had a complete mind set (like an athlete training for the Olympics), and he won his battle. I completely internalized this story and made it into my own experience. The cancer was my Goliath, the chemo was my sling shot and my trust was not in the medical world but in Jesus, who was my best friend and focal point. I knew he could heal me, and I did not spend much time wondering if he would, asking why me, or analyzing my situation--that would have wasted my time and energy. I also visualized when I took the treatments, visualizing that the chemo was killing the cancer cells. The day after some of my first treatments, I was resting in bed and I honestly felt what I visualized, the chemo acting like a stun gun going through my abdomen area killing the cancer one sharp pain at a time (I actually had the sharp pains). Often, I remembered how Christ had healed people. I had become at peace with my situation and knew it was out of my hands (I had done all I felt I could and should do), and my complete trust was in God's hands now and his plan I would accept.
Eleven out of twenty-one days I felt good and I traveled places to see people I enjoyed. At first, my oncologist was against my traveling, because he was afraid I would get an infection. He gave me some antibiotics and said to try going on a trip. After my first trip to Las Vegas to see my brother, my CA-125 blood count was significantly lower and he told me to plan another trip. I went to Boston to see my daughter, Austin to see my oldest son, and College Station to see my youngest son. I also went to Seattle, Washington and New York City. In February, 1998 my CA-125 was a 38, normal being from 0 to 34. My oncologist was somewhat surprised that my CA-125 count had dropped so fast, which was good. My gynecologist re-examined me, and the masses were no longer present. He told me whatever I was doing to keep doing it. In March of 1998 my CA-125 was a 14. I feel that the medicine helped me get well; however, I do not think that the medicine alone cured my cancer. At the end of my treatments I ask my oncologist if the medicine cured me, and he said that it was much more than the medicine, it was all those prayers.
In June of 1998, after all my treatment, I was sent for a CT scan and it came back clear—there were no dark shadows. On June 29, 1998, I had a total abdominal hysterectomy with bilateral salpingo-oopherectomy, Omentectomy, and a left colectomy with colostomy closure. I now see my oncologist twice a year for blood work, which includes a CA-125, CA 27, 29 and a CBC.
In February, 2000, after having a colon scope, the doctor found a large adenomatous polyp of the right colon with focal adenocarcinoma of the colon in-situ. I had an operation to take out part of my colon. It was a stage 1 cancer and it required no treatment. Today, I have a colon scope every three years and a CEA blood test yearly. I have been free of ovarian cancer for 8 years and all cancer for 5 years.
Since being cancer free, I have felt a stronger need to help others. Even though I was very weak after my last treatment, I immediately began helping where I could. Each time I participated in helping—I got stronger. I checked on people in the nursing homes—feeding those that could not feed themselves. I helped at the public school with reading, started a Needs Network at our church to help people in need, raised money locally for the American Cancer Society, and participated in several walks. I spoke to local civic groups and church groups about how I had put my trust in a higher being to beat cancer. I have and still do give power point presentations prepared by the Ovarian Cancer Coalition on warning signs of ovarian cancer. I still wonder at many times what else I could or should be doing, but I trust that my faith will show me opportunities to help others. I feel lucky that I have a very strong and understanding husband, three great children (six now—we have had three weddings), three wonderful grandchildren, my dear relatives, church and community friends, and some really loyal girlfriends, all whom have been with me on this journey. I truly feel blessed and I am very thankful for my trust and faith in Jesus Christ.
LYNDA BETHEL
Lamesa, Texas
In late October, 1997, I went to the Joe Arrington Cancer Center in Lubbock, Texas, for a routine check up with my oncologist (an oncologist saw me yearly due, to my having been diagnosed with a Stage T2-N1-M0, carcinoma of the right breast, five years prior to this date). My blood work showed that I was somewhat anemic, and I was sent to see my gynecologist. Pelvic masses were found after the physical examination (these masses were not present 11 months prior to this time when an ultrasound and endometrial biopsy were performed for vaginal bleeding.) I was then sent for x-ray confirmation, which showed bilateral adnexal masses and ascites present, as well as, liver defects present. Then, I was sent for a CT scan, an upper gastrointestinal series of tests, a small bowel series of tests, as well as, a barium enema and x-rays, which revealed a narrowing of the sigmoid colon. My CA-125 blood count was 3,001, and the CA-27-29 was 239.7.
When my husband and I met with an oncologist (my oncologist was out of town) to go over my tests; the results sounded so bleak, he gave me no hope or encouragement. It was like receiving a death sentence. He explained that all the dark shadows on the x-rays were probably cancer and that the CA-125 indicated full blown ovarian cancer, since normal was from 0-34. I made the comment that the only way out of this was to ask for a miracle. Immediately in my heart and mind, I did just that, I didn't wait—I didn't figure I had time to wait and ask later. We were both shocked and horrified with this news, and I felt deeply sad. The hardest part was sharing this news with my children, whom I told I was asking for a miracle. Also, it was difficult retiring from my 21 year teaching career. I had taught with breast cancer, but I knew I needed all my energy to fight this illness. After this visit, my oncologist of five years returned, and he was very beneficial in helping me fight this cancer.
I was admitted to the hospital with a presumptive diagnosis of intra-abdominal malignancy. At the time of my abdominal aspiration, I was noted to have widespread dissemination of ovarian carcinoma throughout my abdomen. The entire peritoneal lining of my abdomen was studded with and seeded with metastatic lesions, with liver defects. The entire mesentery and omentum were covered with tumor.On December 2, 1997, the surgeon performed a diverting colostomy and mucous fistula to relieve potential obstruction occurring in the sigmoid colon. The right adnexa was removed along with several other areas for biopsy and tissue diagnosis purposes. The final diagnosis read, "Widespread intra-abdominal invasive carcinoma of the ovary—poorly differentiated". They found extensive peritoneal carcinomatosis from the undersurface of the diaphragm to the pelvis and the abdomen was involved from side to side.
After my operation, the doctors told my family that I had a stage 4 grade 3 highly aggressive ovarian cancer. They mentioned that sometimes aggressive cancers respond well to medicine, but that I might have only 2 to 6 months to live. I was extremely weak after this operation, and after I regained my strength, I would begin my treatment. My treatment (which they asked me if I wanted to consider treatment) consisted of cisplatin and taxol, which was an all day drip. I had 8 treatments.
I don't think of myself as a "Real Religious Person;" however, trusting and focusing on my faith is what saw me through this nightmare. I mentally began to work hard to live, because I could actually feel death. The feeling I had after my diagnosis was that my weak body could never be strong again and that I should close the blinds, turn out the lights, stay in bed, and cover up. Since I got no encouragement from my doctors, and on paper it sounded like it was over for me, I could have given up all hope. I felt darkness completely surrounded me, except for a speck of light. My will to live was strong; because I very much wanted to live to see who my children would marry, attend weddings, play with grandchildren, and travel with my husband and girlfriends; I did not give up hope. I chose to live; I got out of bed and developed a new simple life style. I slowly developed this light to glow and grow bigger and brighter by relying on my relationship with Jesus Christ. My attitude remained positive. I used prayer, meditation, exercise and diet, and visualization.
I prayed constantly, but not often formally. One day my husband entered our bedroom and I was kneeling at my chair ottoman, when he asked what I was doing, I replied, "Praying for my life." My husband prayed silently morning and night for me. My children prayed, our church and community prayed, our relatives prayed, my three doctors prayed, and my girlfriends prayed, plus people I didn't even know prayed for me. I was and still am deeply appreciative of these prayers, because they were my best medicine. I asked often in prayer for a miracle. I believed in my heart, as well as my mind, in miracles. My oncologist told me in order to get a miracle you had to expect a miracle, and I did. I had asked for a miracle for my Mother when she had lung cancer but God did not grant her one—it was God's plan for her to die, and I was at peace with her death. However, I believed it could happen for me, and I knew it was possible for Jesus to heal me, if he chose. I would read the Psalms, "God Calling," by A.J. Russell, "Daily Healing Bread," by Nancy Dufresne and "Healed of Cancer," by Dodie Osteen. These readings served as my meditation. I experienced stillness and quietness, when I read. I listened to my heart, when I was alone, which was a good deal of the time, and I felt that Christ spoke to me through my heart, letting me know that I was on task with this battle.Being a very independent person, I often drove myself to Lubbock to treatment, and I would listen to religious music, old hymns, or, I silently focused on a miracle. I walked in the neighborhood for exercise, always alone. I was very close to nature at this time—very appreciative and thankful for the very simple things in life. I praised God for all the goodness in the world, and I asked for forgiveness in all areas of my life. The Oklahoma City bombing took place during my illness, and I can remember feeling so lucky compared to the people involved in that incident. I tried to eat healthy and there were periods that I juiced carrots and other vegetables. However, I did not deprive myself of foods that sometimes I wanted.
I visualized the Bible story of David and Goliath over and over again, until I felt I knew exactly how David felt when he went out that day to face Goliath. I visualized in the morning or afternoon in my bed very relaxed, my blinds open, with complete stillness. I felt like I was David, imperfect and the odds against me. When David went out that day to face Goliath with his sling shot, he put his complete trust in God, which was his source of strength and courage that lead him to victory. He was totally focused on God; he had a complete mind set (like an athlete training for the Olympics), and he won his battle. I completely internalized this story and made it into my own experience. The cancer was my Goliath, the chemo was my sling shot and my trust was not in the medical world but in Jesus, who was my best friend and focal point. I knew he could heal me, and I did not spend much time wondering if he would, asking why me, or analyzing my situation--that would have wasted my time and energy. I also visualized when I took the treatments, visualizing that the chemo was killing the cancer cells. The day after some of my first treatments, I was resting in bed and I honestly felt what I visualized, the chemo acting like a stun gun going through my abdomen area killing the cancer one sharp pain at a time (I actually had the sharp pains). Often, I remembered how Christ had healed people. I had become at peace with my situation and knew it was out of my hands (I had done all I felt I could and should do), and my complete trust was in God's hands now and his plan I would accept.
Eleven out of twenty-one days I felt good and I traveled places to see people I enjoyed. At first, my oncologist was against my traveling, because he was afraid I would get an infection. He gave me some antibiotics and said to try going on a trip. After my first trip to Las Vegas to see my brother, my CA-125 blood count was significantly lower and he told me to plan another trip. I went to Boston to see my daughter, Austin to see my oldest son, and College Station to see my youngest son. I also went to Seattle, Washington and New York City. In February, 1998 my CA-125 was a 38, normal being from 0 to 34. My oncologist was somewhat surprised that my CA-125 count had dropped so fast, which was good. My gynecologist re-examined me, and the masses were no longer present. He told me whatever I was doing to keep doing it. In March of 1998 my CA-125 was a 14. I feel that the medicine helped me get well; however, I do not think that the medicine alone cured my cancer. At the end of my treatments I ask my oncologist if the medicine cured me, and he said that it was much more than the medicine, it was all those prayers.
In June of 1998, after all my treatment, I was sent for a CT scan and it came back clear—there were no dark shadows. On June 29, 1998, I had a total abdominal hysterectomy with bilateral salpingo-oopherectomy, Omentectomy, and a left colectomy with colostomy closure. I now see my oncologist twice a year for blood work, which includes a CA-125, CA 27, 29 and a CBC.
In February, 2000, after having a colon scope, the doctor found a large adenomatous polyp of the right colon with focal adenocarcinoma of the colon in-situ. I had an operation to take out part of my colon. It was a stage 1 cancer and it required no treatment. Today, I have a colon scope every three years and a CEA blood test yearly. I have been free of ovarian cancer for 8 years and all cancer for 5 years.
Since being cancer free, I have felt a stronger need to help others. Even though I was very weak after my last treatment, I immediately began helping where I could. Each time I participated in helping—I got stronger. I checked on people in the nursing homes—feeding those that could not feed themselves. I helped at the public school with reading, started a Needs Network at our church to help people in need, raised money locally for the American Cancer Society, and participated in several walks. I spoke to local civic groups and church groups about how I had put my trust in a higher being to beat cancer. I have and still do give power point presentations prepared by the Ovarian Cancer Coalition on warning signs of ovarian cancer. I still wonder at many times what else I could or should be doing, but I trust that my faith will show me opportunities to help others. I feel lucky that I have a very strong and understanding husband, three great children (six now—we have had three weddings), three wonderful grandchildren, my dear relatives, church and community friends, and some really loyal girlfriends, all whom have been with me on this journey. I truly feel blessed and I am very thankful for my trust and faith in Jesus Christ.
LYNDA BETHELLamesa, Texas
7 comments:
i am so grateful that she's once again in the clear! she is an inspiration and i admire her courage & strength. i am blessed to know her and call her friend. love you-b
So happy you & your family received good news...there is nothing in the world like the strength of a mother. and of faith. amazing.
There is not another person in the world like her! Strong, yes...determined,.. yes, energetic, beyond words,... fun, yes.....a good friend, ABSOLUYELY!!
I am grateful daily for the gift we have been given. Thanks be to God.
Denise, I have had the privilege of hearing your mother speak to us at a Head Start inservice. I enjoyed reading her story here. I have already told several people about it that I know are struggling w/possible cancer diagnoses. Many of the things she said that day have stuck with me since and really helped me in some personal struggles. It was a blessing to have heard her testimony!
By the way, your children are beautiful!! Truly.
(this is Kristi Tomlinson Miller, by the way)
Give 'em hell, LB!
I am moved to tears! Absolutely moved...
this is an amazing story. i just love your mother's words. thank you for posting this and for linking it again on your blog. the words are so powerful...
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