peeling the onion

(patitas de stella)

(patita de sofia)

i love this blog and loved reading this post in particular. it reiterates what i am desperately trying to accomplish as a parent. listening intently, not making assumptions, staying calm, protect but be realistic.

this has been difficult for me on several fronts. first, sofia is very much an indivdual, and i love that but find myself also trying to rework her thoughts vs. embracing her character. secondly, i have so many unfulfilled dreams of my own that i feel myself throwing some of my childhood aspirations at sofia. man, that isn't healthy!

when asked what sofia wants to be when she grows up (which is such a big and almost annoying question), she simply and confidently states "a mami". and while that might be cute to some people, it made me cringe thinking "really there are so many things to be....a chef, a teacher, a dancer, a banker, a doctor, an engineer....and you choose a mami". but what is the reality:

1. she is 4 years old, and that is what she wants to be today (at 4 years old).

2. why not? if she is a mami one day, then isn't my biggest hope and want for her to be a phenomenal parent because after all it is THE most important job.

3. isn't that a compliment to me? maybe not, but i'm going to take it as one!!

i love the questions she listed in the post and as sofia might be too young now to understand in full (ie highs and lows), i will try to begin using them and see where it gets us.

in the meantime, i will continue to try to embrace her character because i love it, it is very unique (or so different from mine...and that is cool), and i will also try to protect (but not too much), control her environments (but give her some freedom), stay calm, and let her be (without assuming my wants as her needs). finally i will listen and peel the onion one layer at a time...slowly and as needed.